havent got time for the pain by seanb

thoughts and words

by 

SeanB

August 2008

***

I pray  for the health and sanity of the human race and the world...

to be restored to light and love...and kindness 

amen...

this is my prayer for you and us...today...

being Blessed and healed...

*****

"I haven't got time for the pain..."

Blog entry

by SeanB

rants and thoughts and feelings...from me to you...

******

tell me the truth...please...I'd like to know it...

*****

Sometimes I feel So Good...

and sometimes I feel so bad...

I acknowledge that my presence in the world is my gift to the world...

insights..

Questions...

feelings...

**

why am I here...??

******

You are here to experience all the positives of being alive and all the negatives as well...

please stop hurting yourself and punishing yourself...

that helps no one...

forgive yourself...

your gonna make it...your gonna be ok...

I want to soothe you...

these are my words and gift to you...

melt

dissolve

dissipate

the stress...

let go instead of pulling in and holding...

or withholding

love from yourself...

Re-lease the energy of love to all....

for it is frozen inside...but it can come out now....

let it come out...all the love and pain and suppresions...

and "DE-pressions...

yes let them all come out and get healed...

"These are: the good ole days..."

Carly tells us...

********

Everyday

try to get back to the place before you were wounded and learned the world can be cruel...

yes it can be...

but please forgive it...

Try to remember: the space of your spirit -

before you were hurt and wounded and learned to cover and bury your pains and fears...

dont dig them up...

just let go of them and allow them to go...away...

to heaven or god or godess or love...

yes release them to Love...

and let them go away...

Denial will not make them "Go away..."

acknowledging them and bringing them into the light will make them dissipate...

make the noise in your head...

go away...

give power and love to your good...

become the power of love...

this is my "practice" and yeah -- yes - it just takes practice:

to get back where you belong...

to get back to the place of inner innocece:

lost innocence...

with love and the wisdom you have to share with us...

*********

"I haven't got Time for the Pain..."

??

Carly Simon...

a truly wonderful and beautiful poet...

Today

I woke up...into a dream...

a dream of gratitude...

thankful for everything...

I was listening to Carly and her words and music...

I was thankful for the world and it's miracles...

This is a world of shadows...and illusions...

A world of the spirit 

the spirit of love...

and dreams and feelings- lost feelings...

I ponder...many things in my morning contemplations...

about my life and experiences here...

feelings that seem lost - somewhere...

about "waking up" here...

and wondering why everyone seems so confused and tired and frightened...

I think how big God can be:

and what God might be...

 or how knowing...

Jesus - Christ - Buddha

Allah...

the Tao...

being centered...

being restored to "sanity" 

and how the world seems to "enforce" a strange type of rage and fear and mental sickness...

soul sickness...

the world seems to always be in conflict...and anger...

and denial -- of something and everything...

A world of addiction...

and hyper-sexuality...

driven by ambition and "greed for power..."

Ego vrs Spirit...

Greed for Power??

Greed

at all costs...??

Corporate life...

the corporation has taken a life of it's own...

An "entity" that we no longer can control...

our fears seem to be given birth...

unto the intention of greed...

"War"

I wonder why so much of our "energy" and time and space is given to being "at war..."

and 

in conflict...

Conflict - Denial - Rage

Awake.

Wake up.

waking up...

clearing shadows...

Humanity

now stands on the precipice...

of transition...

choose

Do you want to live in a world of fear "

or

in

A world of love and kindness...

If you want to live in a world of "sanity" and a dream of love - then you must "practice.." making the 

"loving choice.."

It's not easy...

being wounded as we all are...

trying to protect our "wounds..."

the idea of psychic "wounding"

the "abuse" we have suffered...

what happened to me and you...

and how we have all "polluted" ourselves...

punishing ourselves...simply for being alive...

punishing the people around us - who also carry the "wound" of  being punished...

abused...

harmed and hurt...

by the world: our families and parents..and even friends...

the world is sick but I believe and woke up today to a world that can heal...

A world in transition...

A world "addicted" to lust and the feelings of power and greed...

dumping chemicals everywhere...

pouring alcohol and drugs and sugar 

onto our wounds as if thats going to heal us...

sadly: It will not...

Love Heals

Denying love 

where is God???

Is God - A man on a throne - ??looking down on you? ready to strike you down at any moment...

???

Do you really have to wonder how the world got to be the way it is...

with all the "insanity"

and noise and lies??

Miracles...

It is a true miracle

when we get "clear" enough to be awake

and free ourselves..from the grand stage...of fear...

and the daily parade of lies and fears and toxic ideas...in our ever-devouring "media"

To "Depress..."

depression...

the  opposite of depression and suppression:

is 

Expression...

to express the pain - from the wound...

to awake to a world that is truly: just as horrible at times as it is beautiful...

wonderful and inspiring...

People may surprise you...

allow them to be: loving and caring..

and kind: because they are...

when we act out...

"trans--generational" "masks" that are handed to us...

by our families...

it is like our souls are being stolen, raped and killed...

but you can return your soul to light...

the light that belongs to you and me and the world...

watch an artist create - sometime...

a musician creating music...

painters and poets...

adding love and insight and truth to the world...

We are in love with our wounds and our pain and tragedy...

I myself, have had plenty of "drama" and acting out - of my wound- my addictions and hatred of my self...

for not knowing what to do - how to do it or when to do it..or 

what to say...

The past is passed...

Stuck in the trap of living in the past...

I want out of this, "trap"

of darkness...

A friend of mine: 

A born again christian...tells and talks of heaven and hell and being saved...

Truth...

well, it goes without saying: Truth...

is what we seek...

and I must ask here...If indeed we are all looking for truth...the "Truth," then surely we must live in a world..

that was constructed on lies...

then you look at the artist...reminding us of truth...in creativity...

in song

in poetry

in theater...

and it gives us a chance to give...

and receive...

to be Authenitic...

forgiveness...

is divine..

Miracles...

A world filled with the miracles of nature..and animals..and trees and flowers...and our bodies..

Our bodies are true miracles incarnate....

We tend to cripple ourselfs with pain...

Crippled by our so called pain...

emotional and mental pain...

actual pain...

emotional pain...

the pain of loss...

we medicate...everything...

and coat everything in lies...

to cover- the Truth...

why ?

there was a day..when I simply: "Un-plugged" the lie machine of the world... and the corporation and the media and my family and all the pretty lies that surround us and seduce us from our light and health and 

"divine inner truth"

 that we all carry...and I said: 

"No..."

I'am going to create something other than whats expected of me...

and what was expected..was to 

"self-destruct" 

which is like a long waking - walking : "suicide..."

"Release the dream..."

RE-leasing the dream: the Toxic dream..of going to hell:

"Going to hell in a handbasket" ???

I say to myself...what the "Hell" does that mean...?"

Am I really going to hell...?

are we all going to to hell...?

or 

are we going to receive our divine birth-right of love and truth - manifested...

???

living in the wound: brings death and dis-ease...

A perfect lie??

a perfect childhood??

childhood is a time of fear for many...and we learn to live in that wound(s) from those times...of fear and not knowing...

but you can "awake" from that dream...

the "dream" of the living lie...

and awake to love...

awake to the miracle...

 clean and clear your minds and the foods and the water we put into your selves and the environments inside and out...

Clean and clear...

with miracles...and angels of the human type and the divine...

there is always help...should you decide to awake and stop creating this "war" within and without...

Anger and resentment and rage 

withheld...

held in - becomes its own "separate" energy...

the aura of the world...

needs to be cleared and cleaned..to "restore" us back to nature..

back to Truth...

Feelings

feelings: Mad, Sad, Glad...

feelings are the exhaust of the spirit....

humility and gratittude...

a feeling of gratittude...

can heal you...

thankful for the light...and the night when we rest...

day into night

night into day...

light over taking the shadow of "Illusions"

God 

Jesus, holy spirit, spirit of the universe, 

the bible - the Talmund

and the Koran...as texts...

give us parts of truth...

but if you want to see truth...

watch the clouds roll by above...

the water move in stillness..

the sun arise and set...

watch the children play...

watch the waves upon the shore or a bird in flight...

Attune

Align...

re-attune

yourself back to sanity

and Re-think your steps and words and actions...

please forgive yourself...

for the "separation" from the "Divine..."

Going to Hell?

What are you creating ?

A dream and life filled with miracles or a dream of being lost in pain and death and shadows...

??

We seem to love the shadows and being "wounded" and we dont know how to awake...and leave the trough of lust and pain and dis-ease...

we like to be medicated and aglow with ego and drama...

but there is another way...

please forgive...

yourself and others for trying to find their truth...

I find truth in the light...

I try to give "power" to light and love...

I may not know what love is: but I dont think it is elitism: nor alienation...

nor bombs...

not holding hatreds for people weve never talked to...

to resent or hate is a dis-ease...

a mental illness...

Awake.

If you dont talk it out surely you end up "acting" it out - somewhere...

creating your "inner-dramas"

outside of yourself...

we teach our children hate and then wonder why they are in pain...

or why they run away...from us...

we teach them judgement..and then wonder why they refuse to communicate with us...or tell us their truth...

***

"You dont know what there journey is all about..."

sums it up...

you really dont...

you dont know how deeply a person was inured by all the lies and abuse...

we are truly sensitive creatures...

and our "war" all war is between the ego - mind

and spirit 

the ego vrs the spirit...

Contemplate - Create

 from a place of being healed...

not "acting out" from our wounds...

Sit quietly...

"The truth is in the Silence..."

and Silence is golden" as they say...

but why?

because you meet "God" 

and you meet the "divine" in silence...

you encounter the "sacred-self" in silence...and contemplation...

A day of gratitude: 

first for everything just they way it is...

try it...

Try to Re-lease the pain...and fear...

dissolve it and dissipate it...

dissipate rage and angry feelings...

for being lied to...

Try to restore a truth to your body and awareness and consciousness...

A truth of the divine...

of something organic and clean...

***

I do not wish to enforce my beliefs onto anyone...

I try to be:

Clean and clear...

clearing our collective mind of the shadows and awaking to the infinite truth and blessings of this reality here...

"Fixed Realities"

Most of our realities were handed to us...

by the world and our families...but you dont have to become what they think you are...

or

should be....

restore the natural flow to your mind...and ask the spirit of life and the universe to show you...

without words...

without judgement...or fear...

Life.

Life is...

life is not pain...

life is not dis-ease...

life is not fear...

you are not fear...

you are not death...you are not insanity...

Try to remember: 

heaven 

and the dream of what you came here to be...

awake to the soul you had to hide and deny...

your soul is returning...

now...

your spirit is being refreshed and restored...

your mind: restored...and flooded with light...

Rage is not love...

pain is not love...

addiction is not love...

love seeks: kindness.

Love is kindness...

like perfect flowing water...it goes where it is needed- just like the divine energy within you...

moving - still and perfect...

"Death"

I have "died" many times and each time I 

always awake to a greater truth and awareness of my own kindness to myself 

learning that its possible to move in the world...without fear...that I can be released from judging others...this is not my job...

I'am not paid to do it...I dont have to do it...

maybe I can learn to be kind...to myself all the time and others...

Observe.

The Tao tells us to simply observe...

to simply experience...the flow...

to see things and people...as they truth are...

from the same divine pool of energy...

of love...

I truly do not believe that god hates or hates me..

or hates you...

Awake.

I promise to enjoy my body and all the wonderful miracles here...

and things that keep me alive...

into the immortality of love and divinity of light and kindness..

perhaps God is kind...

and loving and you could throw down all your weapons...so to speak...in the presence--the loving presence of light...

of something called: "God"

whatever she may be...

Harmony.

harmony...within...and without...

I promise to try to be gentle..even when now my mind was programmed to attack and be violent...

Attack

Emotional violence...

actual violence...

Ive had them all done to me and did them all to others...and I'am sorry...

life is suddenly good for me...because I'am forgiving it all 

forgiving god and the world and myself...

written by seanb

august 2008