Kirkblog for KirkTV: Kirk's Contemplation for the day 6/10/2011 "Life is like a Dream?"
Life is like a dream ?
Row Row Row your boat....
ever hear that phrase ?
Row your boat gently down the stream...
merily - merily merliy...Life is but a dream...
for years and years while "Getting sober..."
I woke up - I opened my eyes...
I would look at the ceiling and think to myself or sometimes even say aloud:
"I cant believe I'am still here...!
Everyday I awoke to the same - me - the same "Reality" of doom and dread...
if not pain...
the "pain" of the material world...
the "insanity..." of being in a "Body..."
always feeling trapped...here...
as if life here or to be born was some type of strange punishment that the "Gods" was a sentence where I was living in scarcity - pain - regret...
I always had a vague feeling that I did not belong...here on "Earth..."
that my "Origins" were not "of this Earth..."
the thoughts were vague - murky - shadowy but they persisted...
they were always around - in the "back" of my mind...
"How do I get out of here..." ???
whatever this world was - it was hostile and violent to what I was and am...
my entire life seemed to go from one "attack" to another...
I was either under "Attack..." or I was attacking someone else...
At work - in my personal life or rommantic life...
It truly was a "living Hell..."
"How did I get here and How do I "get out of here..." ??
I saw a film in the 1990's titled: "Dark City..."
In that film the basic story line of the main character is that he is trying to escape the "reality..." that he lives in...
he looks for a doorway out...
wherever he gets close to finding the "right doorway..." or portal...
"dark" beings change and transform and morph everything and everyone and he keeps forgetting and remembering that he wants to and needs to "get out...."
The film is haunting and beautiful...and sinister...
I have a poster for the film in my apartment...
the poster I have is the figure of a man in a suit overlayed on top of a giant clock...
It is a "Science Fiction" genre...
The film seemed to solidify my idea of Reality here in this life...
In line with those themes I mention above I saw other films like:
The "Matrix..."
"Vanilla Sky..."
"Waking Life..."
"Eternal sunshine of Spotless mind..."
"Total Recall..."
"American Beauty"
"Girl Interrupted"
"What the Bleep do we know??"
"Requiem for a Dream..."
"The Truman Show"
"Carnival of Souls..." (Original black and white..."
All have common themes of "Existential Angst..."
Questions
Realities within realities within dreams - within visions within trances - "mental illness" bending of time and space and visions of light and dark...
***********
I was always fascinated by films that blend material reality with a super-spiritual or metaphysical hyper-reality...
films where you question is life is like a dream or is it actually a "Dream..."
some ancient culture do believe that this life is a dream...and that when you "die" that is the time you awake - from this world into a "Truer..." "Real" reality...
Reality is always changing but my "Reality" seemed to be "fixed" and it was a "Reality" that either was hostile to me or didnt want me here - but here I was none the less...
"How do I get out of here..."
"I have to get out of here...!"
I was always going somehwere but never really got to be where I was... I was never really full present or "here..." - whatever "Here" means...
Are you here right now and how can it be proven ??
I could not seem to get "all of my mind and energy - here - right now...and I knew that was either my task or cross to bear...
To "Get here" and then figure out a way to "Get out of here..."
********
To be continued...
6/10/2011
Row Row Row your boat....
ever hear that phrase ?
Row your boat gently down the stream...
merily - merily merliy...Life is but a dream...
for years and years while "Getting sober..."
I woke up - I opened my eyes...
I would look at the ceiling and think to myself or sometimes even say aloud:
"I cant believe I'am still here...!
Everyday I awoke to the same - me - the same "Reality" of doom and dread...
if not pain...
the "pain" of the material world...
the "insanity..." of being in a "Body..."
always feeling trapped...here...
as if life here or to be born was some type of strange punishment that the "Gods" was a sentence where I was living in scarcity - pain - regret...
I always had a vague feeling that I did not belong...here on "Earth..."
that my "Origins" were not "of this Earth..."
the thoughts were vague - murky - shadowy but they persisted...
they were always around - in the "back" of my mind...
"How do I get out of here..." ???
whatever this world was - it was hostile and violent to what I was and am...
my entire life seemed to go from one "attack" to another...
I was either under "Attack..." or I was attacking someone else...
At work - in my personal life or rommantic life...
It truly was a "living Hell..."
"How did I get here and How do I "get out of here..." ??
I saw a film in the 1990's titled: "Dark City..."
In that film the basic story line of the main character is that he is trying to escape the "reality..." that he lives in...
he looks for a doorway out...
wherever he gets close to finding the "right doorway..." or portal...
"dark" beings change and transform and morph everything and everyone and he keeps forgetting and remembering that he wants to and needs to "get out...."
The film is haunting and beautiful...and sinister...
I have a poster for the film in my apartment...
the poster I have is the figure of a man in a suit overlayed on top of a giant clock...
It is a "Science Fiction" genre...
The film seemed to solidify my idea of Reality here in this life...
In line with those themes I mention above I saw other films like:
The "Matrix..."
"Vanilla Sky..."
"Waking Life..."
"Eternal sunshine of Spotless mind..."
"Total Recall..."
"American Beauty"
"Girl Interrupted"
"What the Bleep do we know??"
"Requiem for a Dream..."
"The Truman Show"
"Carnival of Souls..." (Original black and white..."
All have common themes of "Existential Angst..."
Questions
Realities within realities within dreams - within visions within trances - "mental illness" bending of time and space and visions of light and dark...
***********
I was always fascinated by films that blend material reality with a super-spiritual or metaphysical hyper-reality...
films where you question is life is like a dream or is it actually a "Dream..."
some ancient culture do believe that this life is a dream...and that when you "die" that is the time you awake - from this world into a "Truer..." "Real" reality...
Reality is always changing but my "Reality" seemed to be "fixed" and it was a "Reality" that either was hostile to me or didnt want me here - but here I was none the less...
"How do I get out of here..."
"I have to get out of here...!"
I was always going somehwere but never really got to be where I was... I was never really full present or "here..." - whatever "Here" means...
Are you here right now and how can it be proven ??
I could not seem to get "all of my mind and energy - here - right now...and I knew that was either my task or cross to bear...
To "Get here" and then figure out a way to "Get out of here..."
********
To be continued...
6/10/2011
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