GuruMayi Guru Mayi and The Chocolate Bar by Kirk

KUNDALINI - (Sanskrit kind, "to burn"; kinda, "to coil or to spiral") a concentrated field of intelligent, cosmic invisible energy absolutely vital to life; beginning in the base of the spine when a man or woman begins to evolve as wisdom is earned. Kundalini has been described as liquid fire and liquid light. The ultimate outcome of kundalini is the union of Will (shakti-kundalini), Knowledge (prana-kundalini) and Action (para-kundalini).




>>>gurumayi and the chocolate bar...


fall 1992

I'am employed as a butler, valet, and room service attendant to the rich and famous.
I can fetch up a twenty five dollar martini with three olives and place an ice cold diamond ring on the bottom of the glass - so your girlfriend will give you the blow job of your life...and No. I won't tell your wife when she flies in from West Palm beach next Friday...provided your a good tipper...
the ultra Celebes: the obscenly wealthy and freakishly beautiful. the moguls - the wallstreet shakers, the rep tie hustlers -- the music artists and film legends -- the famous: yes sir! In a spotless white butlers jacket and perfect black bow tie and a hundred dollar smile that only a 25 year old could pocess...

This is who I took care of night after night:
Elizabeth Taylor, Bette Davis, princess Diana, bruce and demi, Stevie Wonder, Gianni and Donatella, the kings and queens of euortrash...of Belgium, of the Arab emirates,
Malcolm forbes, Calvin Klien, Ralph Lauren, Andy Warhol, Audrey Hepburn, Anna Wintour, Jean paul Gualtier,
Aretha Franklin, The Rolling Stones and people that didn't even have names but a swarm of body guards...and guns...and came from washington...and then of course, Madonna...but even she didn't raise my brow...
No.

Although their ranting - their requests - their fame - money - power -and prestige and their handsome tips and perfect style did capture my attention...none of them surprised me.
No.
Not even madonna who threatened to have the entire staff fired because someone stole her g-string...or so she said <>
I was never truly surprised at their pathetic, sad fits about - the lighting, the souffles, the interiors, the food, the weather or the service...
I will tell you that I got quite an education about how the world is really run and a few proposals that I actually considered: but no surprises until...
A woman in an orange dress handed me a chocolate bar as a tip...
......the sum total of my destiny and the pivot of my life hinged on a simple Hershey's chocolate bar that a guru placed in my hand.

Please allow me to explain: when you receive a tip there is a decorum of receiving it and it goes like this:
As the meal or your services are coming to a close you ask "Will that be all?"
then they either request something else or they say: "No - that will be all..." they excuse you and you have to wait to be excused, and then they give you a flat - drab kind of half smile and place a bill or bills into your hand.
You nod as you receive the bill - you nod a kind and gracious "thank you" keeping your ass kissing to a minimum because you don't really know what the bill is: You then slip it into your pocket and promptly exit. Then when you are in the kitchen or the pantry you look at the bill and either curse them for stiffing you or thank them for not being an asshole...

When I entered the suite of gurumayi one late afternoon on the upper east side, serving two simple mint teas, how could I know that by accepting her gift of chocolate in return for my service that I had unwittingly garnered the affection? the praise? the shakti: a hindu blessing...of a living, incarnated deity....

I remember her:
dressed in orange -- a red dot on her forehead, a grand smile, and her brother smiling also,
and when I entered into their presence l didn't bow because I didn't know I was supposed to - nor did I even have the vaguest idea of who or what she was...nor did I know that by looking into her eyes that my entire etheric body and aura was about to under go a massive psychic house cleaning...

To be crude: I walked in with a big grin - and a howdy! kinda like, Hi-ya orange guru-lady!
She and her brother both were amazed at my relaxed and casual attitude: and this was why I got handed the chocolate bar, I'am sure...not for the reverence of my bow but for the truth contained in my hello...
this is where she gazed to her brother and then they both agreed silently, and then she went to a desk and returned with something and placed it in my hand...feeling it and knowing it wasn't a money tip - I looked down and saw one of my favorite things...A Hershey's chocolate bar...my eyes sparked.

"Oh - my god!" I cried, "Wow - thank you!" In fact I bowed out of the room backwards truly happy to have some chocolate...<< what a cool tip>> I thought..

In retrospect: because of my authentic response I had pleased her and received her blessing on my life and in my body...
a bar of chocolate and her divine grace...
it's called receiving "shaktiput" and it begins the process of inner purification called:
"The serpent's fire of Kundalini"

When I was walking down the hall later I paused- shrugged my head and thought something to the effect of: when I looked into that ladies eyes I saw something different... yes different than all the others...hmmm ?
It wasn't God but it sure wasn't one of those rich vampires or even that of a human...
I ate the chocolate with a big grin on my face.

...it was the chocolate, of course that I took as a gift and the blessing contained therein that lit the burn that raged throughout out my body - for the next three years, manifesting at first as severe sciatica and then a full tilt breakdown...bedridden for the first two years and then on welfare and food stamps for another two...
I was unemployable. I was broke. I had no idea what was happening to me: it was like being slipped acid at a fiesta in Hawaii...and then watching the hula girls transform into snakes...
Had I known the price I'd pay for enlightenment I surely would have passed...but I didn't.

the chocolate sure was delicious...

The Kundalini raged within me with full hallucinations and back spasms until 1996 until it's symptoms finally leveled out. And then went to sleep.

I forgot about Gurumayi.
I went to cooking school.
I became a chauffeur.
I got a bar-tending job
and then...

to be continued...