kirkblog - kirktv episode copy show 107 - Doggy delusions...

what is "mental illness? 

or descent into "madness..."

the "Dope" show....

another kirktv episode

season three

show 107

september 8th 2008

what is madness?

is it being mad or crazy or angry...?

finish the sentence:

"I'am angry/crazy - because..."

I'am mentally ill - becuase...?

heres a question:

is everyone mentally ill??

the mask of sanity--

google it and find some interesting reading...just for you...

the whole world is crazy and "on fire..."

with denial and rage...

but its a good time!

you have to keep your sense of humor...

in these times - it seems that a belief in a higher power is essential...

in this time of transition...

but accept hope!

shakti!

ask yourself -

Can u accept hope ?

because good things are happening...

for instance...

the Earth keeper movement...

Timberland...co...

chk it out...@ youtube.com

********

society pretends to be "sane" but youd better look out!

because...the inmmates are running the asylum...as it were and the street - the psychic air-waves...are filled with bedlum...

amen!

can I get a praise Jesus!!

god help us all....

Id like to tell you a story...

I like to talk about my life and my magic dog...

Mr. Snuggles...

who has been known to de-materialize at will..and make objects dis-appear and then re-appear...just to make some poochy pandemonium around the kirktv household...

its fun and exciting...

anyway...

recently I took my dog to a "dog psychiatrist..."

because she was: "acting out" she was biting things...and running around the house...

she obviously had some anger management issues...

which she could not control...

I sensed she  was in a downward spiral to becoming a border-line personality...as well...

maybe like multiple -- personalities...one minute shes sleeping and then shes running around all excited and I thought - shes not "Normal..."

maybe shes and addict or maybe shes got low self esteem...

in any event...

so I had her examined by a prominent top--

"Dog psychaitrist..."

ok man...

the doggy shrink was trying to examine her...she didnt like him...she was acting out...

barking at him...

and then she tried to bite him...

and then ran away into her dog house and wouldnt come out...

well after that...

Dr. Henrik Kescoppo

took me aside and said:

"I'am afraid I have some "bad news..."

about 

Mr. Snuggles..."

well - long story short...

(and) her diagnosis was: 

"manic-depressive"

"poochy-paranoia..."

"doggy-depression..."

definace against authority figures...

well - lately she has been...

barking at strangers....

sleeping alot...

(she has)

no discernable direction or purpose in life...

sniffing strange dogs butts in public...

(which was totally embarassing...I might add for me personally...)

she was engaged...in

attention seeking behavior....on the street...

and running to and fro -- trying to chase cars...

biting things...whinning...

and ah to top it all off she had some food issuses...

she didnt like this - she didnt like that...

if i gave her food she ate it - never just saying 

"no thanks...

I've had enough treats for today...

I'am watching my weight..."

no...

and in general just had a bad attitude...

shes spaced out...

shes not connected to reality....

and I was afraid for her sanity...

and 

I couldnt take it anymore....

what - with her...

"delusions of granduer..."

etc - etc etc...

it went on and on...

now...

shes a dachshund hound

11 pounds - classic black and tan...

and she walks around like shes some kind of Rotwweiler...

obviously....she is out of control......

low grade

classic... 

"avoidance behavior..."

ok...

like I said - the list goes on and on...

********

so the dog psychiatrist...reccommended...

some cutting edge medications...

to "level out"

my dogs: "chemical imbalance..."

some beta - blockers...

and special meds to change my  dogs obviuosly--

"Anti-social behavior..."

and forever erase her 

obvious

"Low self esteem..."

***

well - you can imagine my pain and shame...

that  my poor - "Mr. snuggles..." was suffering so much 

and I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT...

so now my dog is on agressive: anti-pyshcotics...

coupled with intensive therapy sessions....

with Doctor Henrik Kescoppo....

noted and famous dog psychiatrist...

@ only 300.00$ an hour...

and the total monthly meds bill is around:

1700.00$ a month...

but  thats ok...because no price is too high...

at first I was like: Isnt some ---

of my dogs behavior kinda "Normal..." for a dog but Dr. Kescoppo assured me that indeed my  dog was 

NOT normal...

and would need all these medications for life...

****

ok listen to me...

its been three months - and there were some side effects of my the doggy depression pills...

sleeping 9 hours a day...

loss of interest in sex...and food and a general malaise...

so then Dr. Kescoppo prescribed a whole other set of meds to offset the side-effects and those of course were only -- another 800.00$ a month....

but like I said - it was totally worth it....

just to get my  

Mr. Snuggles back on track....

there was some emotional fall out though

for me personally...

Well....

I was devasted...

so

I started a 12th step support group...for co-dependants and friends and families of those with mentally ill canines...

(No cats or cat people allowed...because you wouldn't understand....)

the support has been amazing...actually...

*******

and then Dr. Kescoppo also reccomeneded that I 

go to a psychiatrist which he recommended for me :

and I was also treated...

for "canine-co-dependancy..."

and they ended up - putting me on:

this kind of...anti-embarassment 

cocktail of anti-depressants...

which included:

Wellbutrin

beta-blockers

anti-buse...

moa-inhibitors...

prozac

vivarin

vicadin

valium

and ah...

viagra....

and ah 

some diet pills...

and some plastic surgery of course...

which I'am scheduled for next month....

I'am going to have some calve implants

and some pec implants and a penile enlargement surgery and a total face lift and when I'am done I'll look just like...

James Dean....

on steriods...

:)

******

the phone lines are now open...if you think you may have - or someone you know may have a case of poochy-paranoia and doggy depression then please call the kirktv phone lines immediatley....

just  call:

1-800 prescribme....

1-917I want meds...

operators are standing by...

to make sure you get

medicated immediatley....

by  trained professionals...who can spot the symptoms early of these horrible....

illnesses...and treat you or those you love...

and get you back on track to a "Normal..."

healthy lifestyle....

with I might add 

perfect "family values..."

:)

ok - next week 

were going to talk about a new cutting edge field of medicine...

how plastic surgery 

can enhance your dogs appearance and self esteem...

go from whiny dachshund hound to 

respected rotty in just five easy operations...for you and your pooch...!

this is kirktv

saying may all your dreams be chemically induced...

see you on the lifetime channel......

peace

out

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